Saturday, August 05, 2006

Random Unpleasantries



I thought as fellow sojourners, we may perhaps share an opinion about some of these random unpleasantries. Perhaps not, but in no way is this some rant of negativity, just some viddles. To prove my sincerity, I've included a lovely photo of an immaculate beaver palace we happened across in the Boundary Waters to counter the daunting warning sign...
these things, these things...
sun-bloated roadkill, eggshells, when someone has to poop while I'm in the shower, CDs that skip sometimes, round eleven of the snooze button, having a grundy in public and nowhere to pick it, when a baby crys only in my arms, when you tell someone a story that you've already told them, tight ponytail headache, the failure of foil-wrapped gum after a week in the purse, unspeakables I create in the fridge, throwing away unspeakables from the fridge when the garbage is only 1/8 full, when dogs get snooty about affections, the discomfort of the silence after something not so funny, week old nalgene water, the way our butts hang over the seat of a swing, the scent and imminent doom of an unlocated mouse carcass, the taste of blood after flossing gone wrong, where my mind goes upon entering a stifling hot car, chunky milk, touching a baby bird in childhood and then learning it's mother will now reject it, when careless words I uttered are still resonating in my head 5 hours later, bad breath REALCLOSE, the discovery of a woodtick well dug-in, unnecessarily harsh private property signs, when your socks slide off your heel in snowboots, high expectation movies that let down way down, leering stares from strangers, courtesy laughing, when your armpits turn their teeth on you and you're out and about with no deodorant, the guilt you feel when you steal someone's saying, when checkout lane people don't say hi or blink, when it suddenly dawns on me that I'm talking incredibly LOUD, a fan blowing hair in your face when your trying to sleep, old journal entries that remind you of just what a geek you are, childhood myths you fell for like fish eggs in peanut butter, the stump remains of a forest you once knew, wondering if their's a bat-booger in the cave of your nose mid-dialogue, being near a static-y radio you can't shut off, someone else's fart, knocking over a glass of something with an unnecessary exaggerated arm movement, when I'm numb to newspaper atrocities, getting too close to a swamp in socks and shoes, grabbing for a towel and discovering only a wet stinky in reach, when you just want to get through some woods and every branch has it out for you, Mt. Vesuvius on my forehead, Wolske Bay summer algae splendor, porta-potty discoveries in the night, hearing about how Tom told Brady that they used to "brand" each other in grade school with a tack on the end of a pencil, and stuff.............
Think of the beaver palace. Little beaver friends...

4 Comments:

Blogger Robert J Ellwood said...

...oh yes, and don't forget the mighty tree along with our beaver friends, but this tree needs a friend too...and so we add the mighty rock...
Do you remember Bob Ross? Have you ever heard of him - public TV painting guru with the white man's 'fro...
Oh yeah, good ole Bob Ross...
He would always paint "a happy place", and the last line in your blog reminded me of him.
I miss Bob.
Way cool Blog!

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parden me, I believe I tripped too far into your brain- I'm a bit dizzy from the fall.....
I loved every second, dear!

9:40 PM  
Blogger Robocarp said...

i get really irritated when im sitting anywhere really with sports freaks on either side of me, or any where within earshot of me. but especially when theyre on either side of me and i have to pretend like i care what theyre talking about cause theyll occasionally ask when i think or try to tell me about something that i DONT care about, especially.......especially baseball and basketball. i only like to watch either for the touchdowns

9:42 AM  
Blogger Elvis Has Left The Building said...

Write less next time....mmm-kay? Yeah....

7:36 AM  

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